Fragments
by DnKS-giRLs
Summary: A KandaAllen fic. As Kanda Yuu’s eyes took sight of the walking Allen when the said boy was emerging down the hallway, he could only think of one thing. He had changed.


Title: Fragments

Author: DnKS-giRLs

Rating: PG

Pairing: Kanda-Allen

Disclaimers: you have a dictionary right? See what the meaning of disclaimer is yourself, please!

Warning: well duh… OOCness seems to follow us wherever we go…

As Kanda Yuu's eyes took sight of the walking Allen when the said boy was emerging down the hallway, he could only think of one thing. He had changed.

The soft boyish feature was nowhere; it had been replaced by a calm, composed expression. His dainty chin was now adorned with his strongly clenched jaw. His limbs which were once looked so delicate now seemed so strong and firm. Even his sunshine beam was gone, replaced by a slight smile that could easily be missed once he blinked his eyes.

He had changed.

And Kanda could only stare as the boy walked closer to him. He almost could not believe that this boy approaching him was the same Allen who had so bravely dared to pick up a fight with him just some previous months back. He almost could not believe that this boy coming to him was the same Allen who had gone to the mission with him some time past. Allen whom he remembered was a naïve lithe boy who had a tendency to get himself close to troubles. But now, he saw none of that boy he had grown to loathe, and in the same time, to care. Rather, he saw a young man walking in careful strides to the place where he stood, with his face possessed none of those petty emotions he had so often showed in the past.

Kanda held his breath. Allen was now right in front of him without saying any word to him. He just looked into his eyes with his calm façade and Kanda almost shouted out loud his greatest question due time: what had happened?

What had happened that made Allen to be like this? What had happened that could turn Allen from an immature boy into a poised young man? What had happened to Allen that he did not know?

Allen smiled to him, but it was not the same smile he used to have in the past. And that was all he did when he walked passed him. He just nodded to Kanda and smiled politely without any word of greeting, without any word of 'I'm back', without any word of acknowledgement after those months they had never met.

Kanda felt a shiver running down his spine as he observed that smile. He knew that this would happen to Allen eventually but his mind had made such delusion that maybe, just maybe, Allen might escape it. He had thought that maybe Allen would always remain pure, untainted by the dark world where they were living and the bitter destiny they were leading. But he had proven wrong; he knew it, because as he saw Allen walking away from him, he saw a broken soul.

A broken soul indeed, he thought as he watched Allen more closely. Other people seemed not to notice it, or if they noticed it, they made it such form of decency not to voice it out loud. Allen still smiled though slightly. He still talked to all the people he met in the headquarters though it was as little as necessary. And he still laughed on those little jokes coming from people around him though in Kanda's ears, his laughs sounded so fake and forged.

But Allen still laughed nonetheless. And as he laughed, Kanda felt despair.

Soon afterwards, they were given a mission as partners, of which Kanda was partially glad and partially sorry; glad for himself to be able to do something, sorry for Allen to have to encounter such thing. Allen just kept his mouth silent as they took the description of the mission in Komui's office. He was silent as they, together with some finders appointed to accompany them, went to the location of their mission. He kept silent even when they were engaged - finally - in battle with those akuma they knew would surely come sooner or later.

But when a finder was killed right before their eyes, Kanda thought that he saw a look of fear crossing Allen's face. He had no time to observe it further, though, because they needed to move to save the innocence they had taken with such adversity, to save the remaining people who were still alive, and above all, to save themselves.

He brought Allen to the inn they were supposed to stay in during their mission. Along the entire trip, Allen had been back to his silent self. Kanda couldn't care less though. It was, he believed, that sprout's own business if he wanted to remain strident or silent. He just cursed the rainy weather that drenched them wet and dripping as they made their way to the inn.

Kanda was fine with the wetness, but the rain made him unable to tell whether the water running down Allen's cheeks was merely raindrops or tears.

His curiosity was answered later that night when he came to Allen's room to check on the boy. That time, there existed a roof above their head so there was no possibility that it was raindrops that he saw glistening on Allen's cheeks.

At the sight of his coming, Allen quickly and abruptly wiped his tears before turning his face. Kanda stared, in his heart he doubted whether he should just go and leave Allen or should he stay on his side. He did not know what to choose but as he saw Allen's shaking form, his decision was made.

The bed creaked when he sat there, really close to Allen. He noticed Allen's sudden tense at the feeling of somebody else in the bed with him, but the boy said nothing. He too said nothing and in the beginning it felt really gauche to sit in perfect silence like that. But as time passed the awkward feeling slowly but surely gave away to contentment. It might seem ridiculous yet he enjoyed the silence they shared and though he dared not to speak, he knew that Allen too feel the same due to his observation of the other's gradual relaxation. The boy had stopped crying now, or at least his cries had lessened and Kanda felt it was the appropriate time for him to speak at last.

"You're crying," finally he said as his first greeting to Allen. Upon hearing that, Allen just snorted without saying anything as his reply.

"Why?" he asked again.

"Why do you care?" Allen asked back.

Kanda seemed to think for a moment then he said, "No, I meant why you were crying?"

At that, Allen stared at him somewhat in incredulity, "Was that an attempt of a joke?"

"You guess," Kanda said shortly. "Now answer."

Allen sighed and buried his face in his palms. He did not answer it curtly, for which Kanda, in his amazement, found himself not really disturbed by it. He just stared, thinking if he might touch him though he did not know what made him want to do such thing.

"Kanda," he heard Allen whispered softly to him. "Could you please… hold me for a moment…? And please… don't ask… just…"

Allen had no time to finish his sentence because Kanda, though he still did not know by then what had made him to do it, gently gathered him to his embrace. He could feel Allen's shaking form in his arms. He could feel the boy crying in his embrace. He just tightened his hold around Allen's small frame and finally the cry was there at its full power.

He had been wrong, Kanda thought as he held Allen who was by then crying heartily in his arms. Allen had never changed. True, the boy now looked more mature than before but there were still fragments of that naïve innocent boy called Allen Walker whom he knew all along. His calm expression was now broken by his cries. His clenched jaws were now quivering with his sobs. His hands which looked so strong were now gripping Kanda's shoulders so tightly as if he gripped them for dear life.

No, Allen had never changed.

He would never change.

He placed Allen's head on his shoulder. He embraced him closer to his chest. This was Allen and even though it might sound strange, he was glad having the boy returned to his stupid sentimental old self.

"You haven't answered my question," he said to Allen once it appeared that Allen had finished crying.

"Do you still need it?" Allen sniffed against the fabric of his coat.

"No," Kanda said. "No, I don't think so."

He felt Allen releasing his body from his embrace. His eyes, when they stared at him, were still red from crying. There were still trails of tears on his face but he smiled. He smiled the very first real smile Kanda ever saw after the time they met again. It was ironic, was it not, that Allen's smile appeared to be most beautiful and honest when the boy was crying.

"Thank you," Allen said.

"What for?" Kanda asked him.

"For letting me cry on you," Allen shrugged and then chuckled. "For keeping me as myself."

Kanda thought for a while, "You wet my shirt."

Allen laughed at that, "God, you're so heartless…"

He saw Allen laughing and without his knowing why, he found his fingers reaching for Allen's face. The boy's laugh died out when he felt those fingers and deep into each other's eyes they stared intensely. The moment was perfect, the occasion was faultless, and Kanda drew their faces closer until they were separated only by a mere inch apart.

He did not know who were the one initiating the kiss. Later on, he would deny with all his might if someone were to accuse him that it was him who kissed Allen first. But whether it was him or Allen who initiated it, the fact about they did kiss was unchanged. He did not know why they kissed; he did not even know how they kissed. Maybe their lips were just simply brushed against one another due to whatever reason it might have been, but as their two lips touched, they both realized it was a kiss and oddly, or maybe naturally, none of them pulled back.

They kissed. Their lips were clashing and their breaths were mingling into one. They just kissed, and the kiss itself only lasted for some mere seconds before they both pulled apart. But those seconds they experienced when their lips were connected was enough to force a delicate shade of blush to form on their cheeks.

Breathless, though he put the blame not on the kiss but on his trepidation, Kanda tilted Allen's face to search for any sign of disgust or hatred the other might possessed after he kissed him. Strange for him to beckon, Allen had none. Rather, Allen looked dazed and somewhat surprised. But there was no regret, no hatred, nothing.

"Are you angry?" he asked.

"No," Allen said, in a real quick time if he might add.

"You like it?" he asked again.

Allen bit his lower lip, "I don't know."

There followed an awkward moment for they were too confused as to what they should do. Kanda had never encountered such thing before in his life - another way to say that he had never kissed somebody before, not to mention a boy, and he doubted Allen had more experience in this field that him. And thus, the awkward moment was resulted. But thankfully, it was soon broken by Allen calling him.

"Kanda…" he heard Allen whisper in uncertainty.

"What?" he said.

Allen looked straight into his eyes with a look he could not infer. His smile was present on his face, showing Kanda nothing but contentment.

"I might not know if I like… that you… kissed me or… if I might like you, but I have… I think I have enough time for thinking because…"

There was silence, and then a chuckle, followed by a warm embrace as Allen threw himself back to his chest. He felt Allen's two arms circling his neck and a soft whisper landing on his hearing range.

"I'm back."

Kanda was stunned but soon returned Allen's embrace. Those words were playing in his mind. Yes, he thought, Allen was finally back. After so long, he was finally back.

And there was silence before he whispered softly to the boy in his arms the words that he had longed to say to him ever since he laid his eyes upon his returning to the headquarters few days back.

"Welcome home."

- the end -

(A/N: ahaha… so that's all… now we have to go back to our damn project, so… uh… please do review (laugh) really not creative… (sigh) but anyway… hope you have a good reading and… review?)


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